Is It You Or Are You Being Gaslighted? 10 Warning Signs Of Gaslighting

Hi merry goers,

Today we are going to touch on the topic of gaslighting. If you're not familiar with the term gaslighting, here's a simple explanation.

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that makes you question your beliefs and perception of reality. Over time, this type of manipulation can wear down your self-esteem and self-confidence, leaving you dependent on the person gaslighting you.

Many examples of gaslighting in relationships include lying to you, isolating you, or making you doubt or question yourself. The hidden psychological abuse can upend your mental health making you feel depressed, anxious, and isolated. Do you relate to these experiences? If so, you might be a victim of gaslighting. Still not sure? 

Well, here are 10 signs that it's not you... it might be GASLIGHTING

1. You don't feel like you fit in anywhere

Do you feel like a complete outcast or hugely different from others? This feeling may have been created by the gaslighter where your normal is being defined for you. Some common phrases include: 

  • It's just a joke
  • You're just insecure
  • You're being sensitive
  • You're making it up
  • You're just... Different

These phrases often make you wonder what is wrong with you. That you don't fit in or are just different from everyone else causes you to start questioning your identity. 

2. You question and doubt yourself 

Having a healthy image of yourself is fundamental. It helps to define our values and beliefs. Unfortunately, gaslighters shred this definition through persistent lies with phrases like: 

"You're remembering it wrong" " You never did that" 

The consistent contradiction will start creating doubts in your mind, erasing any positive self-image you might have of yourself - your memories and perceptions. Most of the time, it could be someone near you who constantly acts like they know everything about you better than you. 

3. Your self-esteem decreases since you've known them 

Have your friends or family told you "You used to be so outgoing and happy? What happened to you?" Or do you start feeling less confident or self-conscious after someone entered your life? 

Low self-esteem is related to mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, and addiction. Abusers work to lower your self-esteem by bringing up your weaknesses and fault even if they might not be true. This will lead to you believing that it was true and that you are not worthy.

4. You become depressed 

After a while, you start feeling depressed, sad or hopeless. This can be worsened when gaslighters use phrases like "You are overreacting" "Just stop it". 

5. You are constantly guilt-tripped

Heard of Blame-ville? Gaslighters will blame you for everything, twisting the truth and turning arguments around to turn the fault on you. Ever feel like everything is your fault even when it wasn't? However, the gaslighter will continue to insist and persist that you played a hand in it until you feel guilty.

6. You are frequently let down by them 

Gaslighters usually don't keep their promises and their actions don't match what they say. This causes you to constantly feel unsure and uncertain. 

7. You are frequently lied to 

Gaslighter lies start subtle but frequently and make it so common until you are unable to tell the difference between fabrications and reality

8. Your fears are used against you 

This is a control tactic scaring you to do what they want. They will build on that fear until it becomes a go-to threat that if you do not obey them, you will be alone

9. You are isolated from others

Look around you. Do you still see your common friends and family? Or are they now barely acquaintances? This may be from manipulated isolations. Gaslighters isolate you making you to push you to be more dependent on them. They might spread lies or sow distrust in you and everyone around you, making them seem to be the only one who cares and the only one you can rely on. 

10. You question EVERYTHING

Curiosity is normally a good thing as it helps us to learn and grow. But in this situation, you are not questioning for knowledge or enlightenment but you start questioning your reality and sanity. That you start questioning even the simplest of matters. Commonly repeated phrases included "You're crazy" "You're making it up". This will eventually make you wonder if everything they say is true, be it good or bad. 

So, does any of these sound familiar to you? Think about it and we will talk next on what should you do if you are being gaslighted.

Til next time,
xoxo Miriam